WWE Extreme Rules live results: Winners and highlights from Sunday night

Don’t worry, I’m not going to quote lyrics from the band Extreme the entire live blog, mostly because I only know two songs by Extreme, and that’s not enough for me to do a bit throughout the entirety of WWE’s Extreme Rules.

Also, words to “Play With Me” are difficult to naturally fit into anything besides a playground.

Oh, right, wrestling, yes, the thing we’re here for. It’s Extreme Rules time! Rusev is challenging AJ Styles for the WWE Championship! Nia Jax gets her rematch against Alexa Bliss for the RAW Women’s title and Ronda Rousey definitely isn’t going to show up to kick Alexa in the teeth since she’s suspended wink wink. And most importantly, Brock Lesnar is here to defend his hahahaha I can’t do it Brock isn’t here what a dumb title reign I can’t wait until Braun Strowman makes him get those hands next month.

We’ll be live blogging the show starting at 7 p.m. ET, so stick around for the play-by-play and the dumb jokes. Oh, and the occasional astute observation, that too.

Asuka vs. Carmella for the SmackDown Women’s Championship

It’s the rematch we’ve all been waiting for, and hopefully the one where Asuka destroys James Ellsworth’s corporeal form. He’ll be suspended above the ring in a shark cage, so it won’t happen immediately, but maybe after he tries to interfere somehow, his time on this plane will come to an end.

Finn Balor vs. The Constable, Baron Corbin

We’re getting Balor vs. literal cop Baron Corbin, who has shaved his head and looks significantly better, but also is now more cop-like.

Corbin is controlling this match, because even though Balor is super fast and agile, Corbin is stupid-fast and agile for someone who is 6-foot-8, and also, he’s 6-foot-8 and strong. Balor is starting to fight back from underneath, but building momentum has been tough against Stephanie McMahon’s personal cop.

Balor tried to go for a top rope move while Corbin was on the ground, but Corbin got up, grabbed Balor by the throat, and chokeslammed him into a backbreaker. Things are not going well for Finn.

Everything Balor tries is countered or responded to with extreme prejudice, but he finally snuck in a counter pin when Corbin went for his finisher. Balor gets the 1-2-3 and the surprise victory over Corbin.

Kurt Angle gave Brock Lesnar an ultimatum

RAW commissioner Kurt Angle just said absentee champion Brock Lesnar needs to show up on Monday’s episode of RAW to talk conditions for defending his title, or else he’ll be stripped of it. My first thought is that this gives Braun Strowman a chance to cash Money in the Bank on him. My second thought is Lesnar refuses to show up and continues to hold the title and call himself the champ whether he’s stripped of it or not.

Woken Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt (c) vs. The B Team for the RAW Tag Team Championships

Huh, this is a surprising opener for Extreme Rules, especially considering WWE has been trying to kick off pay-per-views with some intense matches whose energy will (in theory) carry through the show. Maybe we’re about to see Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel surprise everyone in the arena by getting a lengthy, energetic championship bout against Hardy and Bray.

It’s not that this foursome is incapable: it would just be surprising! But a welcome surprise, for sure.

Oh look, there’s Ronda Rousey at ringside, waving the ticket she had to buy around, I wonder if she’ll interfere later on ha ha probably not that never happens. ...Okay I promise I’m not making fun I want Ronda to snap Alexa’s arm off at the elbow later on, this is just a thing you knew was going to happen given her suspension by RAW commissioner Kurt Angle.

Here we go!

I’m really excited for Bo Dallas vs. Bray Wyatt, not gonna lie. The real-life brothers are not storyline brothers, but you can definitely tell they’re related when you look at them next to each other. Aw, Bo tagged out after Bray was tagged in so they wouldn’t give the crowd the brother-on-brother violence we all crave.

While this match is slowly getting going, let me just take a second to say fuck Hulk Hogan being reinstated by WWE earlier today. I’m also disappointed in everyone who wrestles for WWE tweeting support for him, but also it’s hard to know if they’re being forced to by their boss.

Alright, we have a pin attempt by Bo Dallas on Hardy, and Curtis Axel follows up with one of his own on Hardy after being tagged in. This match isn’t very extreme so far, but that’s because it’s only at Extreme Rules, not under extreme rules.

Bo Dallas threw Matt Hardy into Bray Wyatt while they were about to use their tandem finisher, and Wyatt flew out of the ring! Bo pinned Hardy, and The B Team are now the RAW Tag Team champs!

That match was about as long as it needed to be, and given the ending, we’ll probably see a rematch that splits Hardy and Bray a little further apart.

Dope article from sbnation.com